There is something wonderfully unique about any musical performance. It can never be repeated. Any professional singer knows that your career hangs on the last performance – screw it up and you won’t be booked again. I have often said I would listen to any ‘live’ music performance because there is something powerful about the moment – even if it isn’t great. And I write as the only cleric I know who has been arrested for busking (on the Paris Metro when I was 19).

I remember watching the video of Susan Boyle after her first performance on Britain’s Got Talent. I know there was a load of stuff about the reaction of the judges and how shameful were the prejudices of them and their audience, but what caught me was the almost embarrassing naivete of the singer. She didn’t realise that she was embarrassing, that people were laughing at her and not with her. Then she sang with a confidence that was breathtaking. A few duff notes wouldn’t have bothered me – the fact that she did it was enough.

Then she hit the semi-final, began with a couple of bum notes and made the headlines again – not with the power of her voice or her story, but with reports of her swearing in an hotel, losing the plot and being called a ‘freak’ by some camp narcissist who judges a dance competition. Piers Morgan then goes on the telly to tell the world that Susan Boyle had considered leaving the show before the final. So what?

Well, all this leaves me disturbed. Perhaps I should just lighten up and enjoy the spectacle – hoping she wins. But, then what? I can’t shake off the questions I worried about in relation to Jade Goody.

Does anyone take any responsibility for her and her health in all this? Here we have a woman with learning difficulties who has been lifted out of a world of routines into a world of cameras, total scrutiny and public judgement in which everybody has an opinion about her dress, her appearance, her speech and her character. And instead of an ordinary woman being celebrated for being able to sing and entertain, she enters a world in which she becomes public property and will be taken apart by every nasty-minded little bigot in the world.

Hard words? Yes. But, am I alone in worrying about what is being done to this woman – even if she walked into it voluntarily? Is there not some public cruelty at work here in the stories being told about her, the scrutiny of her swearing and the effects of the pressures upon her? Maybe I am alone in being concerned about her becoming yet more fodder for a hungry entertainment industry that will chew her over, spit her out (when she has lost her commercial taste) and move on to the next ‘thing’. Maybe I am being over-sensitive and should let her take responsibility for herself. Maybe.

But there is something cumulatively disturbing about how she has so quickly been turned into a commercial commodity to be traded and exploited for public titillation, regardless of the cost to her. Another life being potentially ruined before the circus moves on – and nobody takes responsibility for the costs. I guess when it is all over it will be her home church and community that will welcome her back to a place of uncalculating belonging and restore to her the dignity that comes from being a woman they love and care for rather than a product to be packaged.

I hope I am wrong.

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